Amazing.

That is how I feel. Amazing.

I had a wonderful time while I was away with friends on vacation. So much fun! But unfortunately, it was raining a good portion of the time. :( No sun for me.

Anyways, the main reason I feel so amazing is because I just bought my prom dress for senior prom not too long ago. And guess what size it is! ZERO. It's amazing, isn't it? I was delighted when the size 4's were too big, and I practically had a heart attack when the size 2's were too big! I can't believe I can fit into a size 0. I have wanted this for so long. And to find this out when I'm trying on beautiful dresses just made it that much better. I will admit, it is a tiny tiny big snug on me. But I can breathe, and it zips up all the way!  So, no worries. My plan is to just not eat between now and prom. I'm not even kidding. I want that dress to fit perfectly. I must do this.

Going vegetarian was the best decision I've ever made. I am so continuing this after Lent!!

xoxo Kylie

I'm Doing Well

I'm really tired right now, so this post will be short. I'm doing really well right now. Lent is going great, and I'm feeling really good physically and mentally. I have absolutely no idea what I weigh. I NEED a new scale at home!! But I can tell the new diet and exercising regularly are really helping out. 

Also, I'm going on vacation with some friends really soon, so I'll be totally MIA for a while. But I can't wait to catch up with everyone's blogs when I get back!! This trip could not have come at a better time. I really need a break from reality right now. lol I hope to come back relaxed and even more determined than I am now. 

Warm weather, here I come!! 

-Kylie

Lent

I decided to give up meat this year for Lent. I was already trying to stay away from meat in general, but thats a really hard thing to do when my mother cooks dinner for the family and asks why I'm "barely touching my favorite foods". So, I decided giving up meat for Lent would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone. Maybe help me stay on track with losing weight before Spring Break. 

So, today is Day 4 without meat, and I feel pretty good! I've been much more aware of my diet, which has helped me eat healthier foods and stay at a low calorie intake. Wish me luck on the next 42 days of Lent!! 

Something That Gets Under My Skin

Hey guys, I changed the look of my blog. Tell me what you think, I'm not sure if I like it...


Anyway, I have received two comments on my blog so far that have really gotten under my skin. I know that when you post something on the internet, you are making yourself available to scrutiny and criticism because everyone can see it. I just wish others weren't so quick to judge. The two comments I am referring to are as follows:


"Please stop and just eat being thin is worth nothing!! Eat and enjoy life" -Kandie


"no please dont do this to yourself...it ruined my life and my familys...i nearly died...lifes not worth that pain or pain on others" -Anonymous

And my response to these two commenters is this: Look, I understand and respect that everyone has a different story. But don't criticize mine. I respect your opinion, but please don't comment on my blog if you have anything negative to say. This blog is an outlet for me to express myself in a community of people who will not judge me. I certainly didn't ask for your opinion, and I don't appreciate your negativity. If you don't like what you see on my blog, then get the hell out and don't read it. Thank you.

Just One of Those Days...

I feel lacking today. My head isn't in the right place. I fell asleep on my couch, and when I woke up an hour later, I was freezing. I searched the kitchen for something warm to eat, and almost made myself some hot chocolate and a piece of toast. At 10:30 at night. Yuck.  Once I realized this, I left the kitchen promptly. I am now fighting the hunger pains from my bedroom, and thinking about how gross I feel for even being hungry this late. I need to go to bed asap, before my stomach wins out. Hopefully looking at thinspo will help...

Happy Valentine's Day!

I love Valentine's Day. I am a sucker for a good love story. My boyfriend surprised me with the sweetest gifts today and took me on a really nice date to dinner and a movie. <3 I had so much fun.

...BUUUTTT I did let myself have a cheat day today. Unfortunately. I knew my boyfriend was going to give me chocolate and take me out for vday, and I didn't want to be rude or raise suspicion, so I allowed myself to eat normally today. Honestly, I didn't like it. It feels weird to eat and try to NOT think about every evil little calorie I'm shoving into my mouth. I can't help it. I have to think about it. It's like its hardwired into my brain to love and hate food all at the same time, which makes it utterly impossible to pretend like I have any normal sort of relationship with food. At least I can pretend and eat my dinner and make my boyfriend happy though :) That was nice enough.

Also, I ran into a good friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while, and she told me my legs looked so skinny and little. I fought the urge to throw my arms around her and cry out in small victory. Yes, it felt sooo good to hear actual confirmation that all of my hard work is starting to pay off. But I know I still have a long way to go. And it was great motivation to keep going! 

Don't take your successes for granted, girls. Celebrate them :) I know I sure am! 

xoxo 

Kylie 

A New Me

I'm tired.
Tired of being lazy. Tired of not losing. Tired of being disgusted when I look in the mirror.

There are no more excuses. The only thing stopping me is, well, me. But not anymore. I am so ready for change, its not even funny. Starting today, I am going to be A Brand New Me. A happier, more motivated, better version of myself.

I've discovered several things over the last week or so that are going to be of great help to me. The first is that water is my BEST FRIEND. I must keep water with me at all times. It subsides the hunger pains and makes me eat waaay less. Yeah, I have to pee every 20 minutes, but that's better than eating. Secondly, I've decided I'm cutting meat mostly out of my diet. I'm only going to eat meat when I have no choice (i.e. my mother makes dinner and insists I eat). Otherwise, I am staying away from it. I'm not really doing it for all of the humane reasons, but I've read some online articles, and there are a lot of health benefits to not eating meat. Besides, I've always thought of meat as being kind of dirty and greasy and filled with fat and calories. Last but not least, there will be absolutely no eating after 8:30PM. Personally, I feel disgusting when I eat late at night. If I eat past 8:30, there's almost no chance I'm going to be able to work those calories off. So, I'm preventing that with this new rule. At 8:30, I'm going to brush my teeth and stay as far away from the kitchen as I can.

Hopefully these new implementations really help. I'm already feeling better, and I've only been at it for a couple of days. Now I'm just praying to see some positive results on the scale...

xoxo