107!!

Jumping for joy over here! Yes, that's right, I am at my lowest weight EVER. While its not where I want to be ideally, its better than nothing. My personal life may be falling apart, but at least I'll always have Ana. She seems to swoop right in and comfort me through all of the bad times.

It's safe to say my eating disorder is fully thriving these days. The single life has given me one thing: Time. I have so much time on my hands now. Too much in fact. I find myself spending way more time thinking about what I'm going to eat next and carefully planning out each calorie. And I've been excercising a ton too. I feel so guilty when I eat. :( I have to work it all off right after or I feel disgusting and obese and worthless. Excercising helps alleviate some of the hatred I feel towards my body. And it makes me feel more in control. Like less of a lazy, fat failure. I hope I can keep this newly-found stamina up and continue my workouts and weightloss. It's pretty much the only thing I have going for me now.