December Update

Hey guys! I know I haven't posted in over a week. I do apologize for that. I guess in a way I didn't want to disappoint you guys. I didn't want to post when I had only more bad news. I wanted to wait until I had a better mind set, and had something good to tell you guys.

So, I know I got really upset and discouraged after Thanksgiving. I was 114 lbs. But over the course of that week, I gained and got up to 116.2 lbs. I always weigh myself at the same time every day. So, I know that this was an actual weight gain and not just a weigh fluctuation throughout the day. Suprisingly, I actually talked to my mom about how I was feeling... And it went well! I told her that I've been feeling really out of shape lately, and that I know I haven't been eating healthy at all. I also told her that I feel really fat sometimes when I don't exercise and it feels like I'm just stuffing my face all day and gaining weight. And it really depresses me. Some days I just feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to eat because I feel so disgusting. She, of course, told me that I'm perfect just the way I am and told me I shouldn't feel that way at all because I'm already so thin and pretty. (She's my mom. She's like required to say that though!) But then she told me that she struggles with the same thing. And that she has all her life. My mom used to be SOOOO thin in high school. I get really jealous when I see pictures of her when she was my age. She was beautiful! But she told me that she felt the exact same way that I feel. She felt so out of place in her own body, and she always thought she was fat. Like I said, it was a really good conversation that we had. I'm starting to wonder if this kind of thing runs in families. Like, maybe I inherited my feelings of low self-worth from my mother. I've heard of alcoholism running in families. Maybe this could be the same? But that's just something to ponder. Anyway...

After I talked to my mom, she suggested that we start going to the gym together! We went twice last week, and have already been once this week. Trust me, I'm not a gym newbie. I'm not one of those lame people that comes in and tries out every machine in the building for 30 seconds. I know how to get my burn in! So, I've been really pushing myself in the gym and I think it's starting to pay off! I'm already down to 115.2 lbs! It's not where I was, but I'm still proud. I've lost 1 pound in just a week of going to the gym. I plan on making trips to the gym routine in my life now. Besides, my mom's hooked now too. She wants to start going every other day! :)

Wish me luck guys. I hope to be down to 114 next time I blog again! xoxo