Doing Alright

What a lovely week this has been.

I am out of school for winter break AND my boyfriend came home! I have been spending lots of time with him. Oh how I have missed his company. He is so protective of me, and so caring. I wish he didn't have to leave again. I hate it when he is away. That is usually when I fall into my depressive ways.

I also found out that after my long period of weight gain over the last couple of months, I am finally back down to 104. Which is where I was about 3 months ago. I am elated to see a loss on the scale. And I have been having such a good week. Could it be...I am experiencing real happiness? For the first time in a long time, I am doing alright. It seems like there is always something wrong, something always keeping me down and preventing me from being happy. Things have been going so well lately, I am beginning to get paranoid. I hope this isn't God's way of preparing me for something horrible that is to come. How strange is it that I am paranoid about actually being happy? It's like I can't accept the fact that things might actually go well for me sometimes.

I must be crazy.