Black Out.

I passed out. In front of my entire family. It was bad.

I was in the middle of my fast. I hadn't eaten in two days. I know you're supposed to take it easy when you're fasting, and that's what I had been doing. But my sister asked me to do some yard work with her outside, and I said yes. Mistake #1. After being outside in the heat for a while, I started to become really tired. That's when I realized I hadn't drunk any water all day. Mistake #2. I sort of stumbled into the house to get some water, and I started getting really dizzy. So, I sat down in the kitchen for a minute and tried to regain my balance. I got myself a glass of water and drank it, and then started walking towards my room. But as I was passing through the living room (where my whole family was), my vision went black and I could feel myself falling. I hit the floor, and that was it.

When I came to, I was laying on my back with a cool washcloth on my forehead and my family was standing around me. Apparently they had all freaked when I went down. My sister told my mom that I hadn't eaten yet that day (that little rat), and my mom told me I needed to be more careful and make sure I was eating plenty, especially if I was going to be working outside. Other than that, I don't think anyone is suspicious of me. But my mom walked me to my bedroom and made me rest and eat crackers. I only ate five though, which is 60 calories total.

Honestly, it scared me a little. I don't like passing out. I've only passed out twice, and both times were from not eating. It doesn't feel good, not being able to control your body. Everything going black. I don't like it. How do I fast, or even barely consume calories, without passing out? Obviously I wasn't fasting the right way. What should I change when I try my next fast? I want to continue with Ana, but I want to do things the right way. So many questions.

Lightheaded and Loving It

I started my fast today. I haven't consumed a single calorie. I feel so lightheaded and faint. My body is WAY too used to food. Oh well, a little shock to the system can't hurt, right?

It feels so good just saying no to food. I feel in control and happy. I have missed this empty feeling in my stomach. :) There is no way I'm stopping my fast any time soon. 

Hope everyone is doing well. 

Guess What?!

Guess what? I'm graduating from high school in a week. I'm so excited! I know I'm going to be really sad the last day of school, but right now I couldn't be happier. I am just ready to start a new chapter of my life. Go to college, redefine myself... That kind of thing.

And not only that, but I have had the privilege of working out in the on-campus gym many times. And I cannot even begin to explain to you how excited I am going to be when I have my student membership and can use their wonderful, wonderful gym any time I want free of charge.

In other news, I think I'm going to try another fast. It's been awhile since I last tried to fast, but I've been eating like an absolute obese person the last few days. And its honestly depressing to me when my stomach is full. That's when I hate myself the most. I need to cleanse my system of all the nasty food I've been eating. Liquid fast: here I come.