We're Back Together.

The boy and I are back together. :)

I'm so happy! ...and gaining weight. 2 pounds so far. Why is it that I can only lose weight when I'm upset? Why can't I just be happy AND thin?

I know what you're thinking: "You can't have your cake and eat it, too." But I swear, I don't want to eat any damn cake!

-Ky

On The Verge.

I'm so close to breaking.

Things are so complicated with my exboyfriend. We tried being friends after the break up, and just ended up hooking up. Now, I dont know what to do. :/

Also, I haven't been eating. Like hardly at all. After he broke up with me, I pretty much lost the will to do much of anything. I don't want to sound like just another whiny teenager. Because I'm not. Its really hard to lose someone who you are so close to. We were together for two years. I'm a mess right now.

Anyway, I haven't been eating and he's been noticing. I weigh 108 now. I dropped 7 pounds in a week and a half. Normally, I would be so happy about that, but its hard to be happy about anything right now. I am grateful though. No one will stay by your side like Ana will, that's for sure. Guess I'm learning that the hard way.

But I need some advice. Like I said before, my exboyfriend is noticing that I'm not eating... He asked me point blank today if I was "trying to be anorexic". I laughed and said no, of course not. But a part of me wanted to scream at him and tell him the truth about it all. Should I have told him? I'm tired of lying to everyone around me... I just want to be loved. Is that too much to ask for?

Broken

My boyfriend of two years left me.
Out of the blue.
With little reason, other than he just "didn't feel the same about me anymore".

I have no idea how to go on.
My best friend has just been ripped from me.
My life seems meaningless now.

I've stopped eating.
I've stopped caring.
I've stopped trying.

I hate myself.